http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/learning-to-cope-with-intrusive-questions/article17759042.ece

 Learning to cope with intrusive questions

Janani Krishnakumar

Excerpts:

"The way to answer

While in many instances I have seen people reply to questions in an offensive manner without even thinking how much it can hurt the other person, it has always been hard for me to utter anything that might otherwise stress the one who is posing the question. I often tend to reply politely with half-hearted answers.

Sometimes I feel like avoiding them entirely, but then get reminded of the fact that it calls for a massive grudge and another frustrating round of questioning by them for not caring to talk properly. Most of the times, my inner voice asks me to blurt everything out, about my personal life, about my choices, and just say, “I want you to not intrude into my life anymore. I’m happy that I’m taking time to dig my potentials out, rather than getting into small talks, which is absolutely a waste of time.”

But when I foresee the consequences of giving such a rude reply, I roll back and try to be poised and respond in a humble manner. Although it may sound cowardly, it can avoid creating negative vibes in a relationship. In such situations, one should remember that time can prove everything and answering someone’s questions isn’t compulsory.

Actions speak louder and confession is not the only option. If you think participating in a conversation makes you jittery, you have the right to change the subject. But that comes only with mastery in the art of deflection.

So the next time someone puts a prying nose, we no more have to feel wedged. What we choose to share is certainly different from what we want to be asked to share."